thoughts.

Dei uma repaginada no meu baby blog aqui, rs, acho que tava na hora de eu arrumar ele. nha.

You know, sometimes, when you sit around, doing nothing but concentrate in your own brain, you start to really understand your feelings. That is absolutely NOT my case. Whenever I try to sort out my thoughts and feelings I end up more and more entangled in them. For instance... Remember how I said I have this belief that people do meet in their dreams? Well, if that REALLY is true, then I'm meeting him almost every single day... Sometimes he asks for help, sometimes he wants to stay silent, just looking at me while I look at him and smile... Sometimes he wants to party hard and do things we're not supposed to be doing... And sometimes... sometimes he gets blue, when he wants to know about my days, about my thoughts... Ok, so maybe I'm paranoid, but I feel I'm bound to be in his life somehow. In my obnoxious head, if I hadn't met him in my dreams (which is something I admit I've been doing for the past 13 years) nothing of that would've happened. What if it is true? In one of my dreams he told me he was desperately trying to find me but just couldn't, cause I was too caught up in myself to let him see me... What if it is true? What if that's what he felt that day? What if that's what made him stare at me like that, and all? What if I'm really bound to be in his life? All I know is that I don't wanna keep meeting him only in my dreams... All I know is that after all I really wish he comes along and meets me somehow... All I know is that I want to have my 'happily ever after', and I want it to be with him.... So now, as I sit around doing nothing, my brain gets more involved on the thought of going after him and trying to figure it out. And yet another part of my brain - I guess the rational side - makes me think it's all some kind of delusional bullshit. So, what part of me should I trust? What side of my brain should I believe in? Which lead should I follow?